Quiet! The Adults Are Talking is a back and forth between The Momma and The Daddy on various topics, to see if (and how) moms and dads might view things differently. (p.s. This conversation was done over gchat. Ah, modern marriage).
The Daddy: Feeding Time: Enjoyable Consumption Experience or Barbaric Voracious Frenzy?
The Momma: I love your titles
TM: At this age? I think it’s barbaric voracious frenzy, with a little bit of control testing thrown in. It USED to be enjoyable, but as the Noodle has entered toddlerhood…well, things change.
TD: I agree. It’s hard sometimes to realize he’s not (always) being a jerk when he starts throwing his food or refusing to eat. It can be tough to distinguish between when he’s finished and when he just doesn’t want any more of that particular kind of food. Definitely not the perfect eater he was before, but still not terrible, from what I would imagine.
TM: You get much more flustered with the food stuff than I do, too. The Noodle isn’t a perfect eater, but he’s SO much better than a lot of kiddos his age (karma, this does not mean we need to test this!)
TD: True. As I am always saying, the Knob will teach me patience someday, whether I like it or not.
TM: I think the thing that’s hard is that we’ve got so many ideas of how kids are supposed to behave, what makes a “bad eater”, etc, that we’re trying to avoid, and sometimes it comes down to just…letting it be what it is.
TD: Yeah, it’s so true that no matter (in spite of?) what you read, in the end, all of this is brand new, and unique to how the little dude is. I do try and experiment and take cues from you on better ways to do almost everything I can. Eating is a great example- instead of getting angry or frustrated when he starts throwing food, I just take the tray away from him. I know he won’t starve himself.
TM: Dude, the kid’s in the 90th percentile for weight, he’s not going to starve!
TM: But you’re right, it’s a matter of trying things that work for OUR kid, not just putting him in a check box of “kids ages 12-24 months”
TD: I have realized the Knob is eating a little less lately with the teething. I have loosened up a little with my “he’s not eating enough, gaaah!”
TM: Well, after seeing the HORROR that is molars, can you blame him for not wanting to eat? Gah those things are nightmare inducing.
TD: Absolutely, I don’t know why, but I didn’t think it was gonna look so barbaric. Like, the gums would be evenly sloped around the tooth, not some giant bloody crater with the tooth erupting like some kind of alien bursting out of some scientist’s chest.
TM: I also think that it’s easier now that he’s a bigger kid to be less concerned about the intake. The first year there’s so much pressure on “he has to grow and develop and ahhhhh” and now it’s like, “eh, toddlers. They’ll eat, eventually.” At least that’s how it feels to me.
TD: Yeah, this is yet another classic case of being hardcore vehemently adamant about certain things either pre-kid or early-kid and then phasing more into “meh, whatever” as time goes on. It bugs me, because I know I used to judge people that got this way with their kids thinking they were just becoming lazy parents.
TD: The reality becomes that there is only so much A.) time in the day and B.) energy to keep you going all day. Very much a pick your battles kind of thing.
TM: The reality is, that’s kind of kids this age. I mean, the Noodle’s only one. We can start to introduce manners, but expecting a 1 year old to act like an adult is just an exercise in making yourself frustrated.
TD: True. As you know very well, I have very little tolerance for dealing with people who act anything but exactly like me. It really becomes a bad mindset when dealing with a one year old. I always want his squirrel brain to be a little further along than it actually is. I have to stop assuming he’s just a stubborn 30 year old.
TD: Was that an admission you’ve been waiting to hear?
TM: Not admission, but the more you say that to yourself, maybe it’ll sink in!
TD: Yeah I know. Man, these back and forths were never supposed to be so cathartic.