The Clothing Dilemma: Is Your Child a Radioactive Hypergrowing Mutant?

by The Daddy on December 7, 2011

You may have noticed your offspring has been rapidly growing out of his clothes. Days when you go to reach for clothes he wore just a week ago, only to find that they’ve been replaced overnight by hidden clothing gnomes that swap out old clothes for identical sets, save for being one size smaller. Gnome Shenanigans Consipiracies aside, the kid has been growing at what can only be described as an exponential rate. I believe that by this same time next month, he may actually be the size of a small victorian country home.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Alexis December 7, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Dude, 4Ts are totally too small for our 2 year-old mutant. I am just going to believe my pediatrician that this will “taper off eventually.” I sure hope so otherwise we are on track to have a 6 foot tall kindergartener.

Giant kids of the world unite! (Except don’t because herd of marauding gigantic toddlers is the true stuff of nightmares…)


The Daddy December 7, 2011 at 3:08 pm

This could be the first sign of what may eventually become known as the “Era of Giant Toddler Earth Striders.” Crowds will throng together in their underground caves to hear the songs and tales of how the plague of juvenile juggernauts rose up and overthrew the people of Old Earth. The survivors will lament that truly, in retrospect, all the signs were there.


Lex December 7, 2011 at 9:15 pm

For awhile, Munchkin had hit this crazy growth spurt; luckily, we had some of big sister’s clothes saved for her, but we went through the entire stock-pile. She stopped for a bit, but it looks like she’s about to hit another one. Oy vey.

Good luck with yours! He’ll plateau soon… he has to. For your sake and The Momma’s.


Katherine December 8, 2011 at 10:51 am

Those same gnomes visit my closet and I’m 32.


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