Guest Noodling: And the Oscar Goes To…

by Guest on February 22, 2012

Our next guest post is from Ashley at It’s Fitting. Besides talking about urban farming, sharing great recipes, and writing about life, Ashley is mom to an adorable little boy who definitely has a mischievous twinkle in his eye. I think the Noodle and her little man would get into a ton of mayhem together. Though they may have to fight it out for some of these prizes during award season…

In this season of the Golden Globes, the SAG awards, the Grammys and the big man Oscar himself, it’s important to start lining up your winning picks. Brad Pitt for Moneyball? The Artist? Even with all of the different categories and incredible talent out there, I feel that I can safely pick a few surefire winners…

Best Actor in a Drama.

Goes to… my Toddler.

As any parent can tell you, a toddler’s capacity for dramatics is unparalleled by even the likes of George Clooney or Brad Pitt. My particular breed of toddler likes to pitch himself to the ground and lay there, writhing in agony, yelling, “I FELL, I FELL!! OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH. MOMMY!!! KISS AND MAKE BETTER!!! AAAAAAAAAGH.” All of this hysteria is completed with one small eye open, checking to see the dramatic response from the viewer and adjusting accordingly to ensure the most visceral, emotional response.

Bravo Child. An inspired performance. I laughed, I cried, I totally raced to the phone to call 911.

Best Director.

Once again, my Toddler.

Clint Eastwood ain’t got NOTHING on my kid and his ability to “direct”. All day long I hear from my little Cecil B DeMille in the backseat of the car, or outside in the backyard, or even in the bathroom.
“No Mommy, not that way, go right.”
“No Mommy, you stand here, I throw the ball to you. Hands together to catch, down more, more, more. OK! I throw the ball now!”
“Mommy, you sit down here, go potty and I will bring you a present. Here’s paper, YAY MOMMY!”

Best Foreign Language Film

The Conversation. Never heard of it? It’s because it takes place at my home, almost every day with this kid… I actually got a role in this film, thank goodness, but he is, as usual, the star.

One particularly poignant scene has us sitting in his room, having a compelling conversation about… well, something hard to explain, at least to me. Subtitles are definitely needed.

“GHOSIDFUOSIDHKWURYG Mama”

“Kiddo, I don’t understand you with the paci in your mouth, take it out.”

“GHOSIDFUOSIDHKWURYG”

“Baby, I don’t understand.”

And with this look of utter exasperation and pain on his face, drawing upon all of his experiences in his 2 long years on this earth, he slows WAAAAAAAY down and says, perfectly clear and concise and eloquent…
“Please take off my shoes and put them in the closet. Thank you.“

“Oh… ok… um, sure.” (Didn’t see THAT plot twist coming, did you? Truly genius work on his part)

End Scene.

He’s going to be a winner this year, for sure. Between the acting, the directing, the command of the English language… this kid is a triple threat. And at the end of day, after all of the dramatic roles he has played, and dealing with the morons around the house who obviously have JUST gotten their SAG cards, he and I both know for certain that he’s got one in the bag.

Best Picture… Of course.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

melanie Juneau February 23, 2012 at 7:35 am

love your sense of humour-melanie-http://motherof9.blogspot.com

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wendy February 23, 2012 at 3:40 pm

If your little guy takes “Best Actor in a Drama” then my preschooler has “Best Actress in a Drama” in the bag!

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Kate February 23, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Great post! Yes, toddlers are the world’s best actors. Their skill set is incredible. :)

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Canadian Dad February 25, 2012 at 6:25 am

Great concept for an article! I guess if my son was going to win an Oscar, it would be for Best Original Song for his rendition of “Daddy Toots”, LOL.

Cheers!

Reply

Ashley @ It's Fitting February 26, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Canadian Dad – BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I love it. I just wake up in the morning to hear him singing Gaga and CeeLo. No original content over here.

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