I always KNEW I’d be a ninja someday. I just didn’t know that it would only happen because I became a parent.
But make no mistake, I have become a ninja, and I have the Noodle to thank.
When he was little, my ninja skills developed. I learned how to shift sides nursing so fast he never had a chance to squall. I learned how to change a diaper so fast, he never had a chance to pee in my face. I learned how to extricate myself from the bed without moving it or waking him up. I was fast, light on my feet, and silent.
As he got older, my ninja skills increase. I was able to get spoonfuls of veggies in his mouth in between spoonfuls of fruit so he never noticed. I was able to distract him with something while he got a shot. I was able to silently leave his room after putting him down in his crib or bed so he never had a chance to miss me. I was industrious, clever, and moved noiselessly.
Now, my ninja skills continue to serve me well. I can move a toy he’s not supposed to have faster than he can see it. I can tiptoe into his room, adjust his blankets, and never wake him. I can hide cookies before he can want them. I can sprint to catch him before he falls. I am quick, agile, and move on silent cat paws.
I am a parenting ninja.