The Daddy: The Kid’s Skyrocketing Number of Bangs and Bruises- Simply a Sign of an Active Busy Boy or Terrifying New Reason to be Concerned?
The Momma Oh my WORD with the mystery injuries. I swear, I feel like I turn around and he’s got a new bump, cut, bruise, or owie!
D: I KNOW it’s because he’s got a new hardwood bed with a low rail. I KNOW it’s because he’s running, jumping and climbing more and more stuff. I KNOW it’s because he’s acting more and more like a howler monkey on PCP, or you know, turning into a little boy. Still, we go out in public and I can’t help but feel, Idaknow…strange.
M: I know. I feel like we need to put a sign on him that says, “He did this himself!” But that’d probably look suspicious.
D: I know, anything you could think to say or do only makes you look like some kind of excuse-making child abuser. I know the reality is that probably ALL kids (especially little boys) will go through this. It’s a blessing in a way- the kid is healthy and active enough to constantly be unaware of his limbs and falling on his face. Still, it’s probably because it seems rather new and sudden.
M: If he’d watch where he was going (or, you know, if he had any modicum of healthy FEAR OF PAIN), things would be better. But he just seems completely unaware of his body or his surroundings, and hence we end up with mystery injuries.
D: Yeah, the mystery ones bug me the most. It’s like, I KNOW they’re taking good care of him at his daycare, and I KNOW it’s not neglect, but when he comes home with new mystery bruises no one was aware of, I get frustrated. I’m not even sure of what, it isn’t like they can prevent the kids from falling. We can’t prevent him from falling when it’s just him and us, let alone a whole madhouse zoo of playground urchins.
M: Honestly, I never really question the daycare as much as you do (I mean, really. Those ladies deal with, what, 16 toddlers? How they see ANYTHING is beyond me). But I do hate not knowing how stuff happened. And I hate that he can’t tell us yet if it hurts!
D: Don’t get me wrong, there’s NO way I’m in any way blaming them for anything, it’s just one of those moments where my super hardcore Type A personality comes into play. Could I have prevented it? Was someone lax in attention for a split second? No one could ever match up to what I THINK I could have seen, which is totally unfair.
The bigger thing is him not being able to tell us, I agree. That just really hurts my heart.
M: Yeah. Would that we could use the monkey thought translator on him. Because I hate seeing him not have the words to tell us he’s hurting. Beyond the ever present requests for “Banane?” (Bandaids, for those not versed in Noodle).
D: Yeah, but that little dork thinks they’re stickers half the time! I almost wonder if he bonks himself on purpose, he jumps to “Ban-Ain???” so fast. That, and the fact that he practically never complains about something hurting, more than a few seconds after a major bump, I wonder how much pain he must be enduring silently all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad the kid isn’t a complainer, but still, if he could tell us, we could try to make it better or something.
M: Having a spartan for a kid has its downsides, clearly.
D: Chalk it up to one more thing I never thought I would worry about as a parent- that my kid is too quiet about something. My future self is clearly winding up to punch me in the face right about now.
M: Well, it’s not like he’s quiet about anything ELSE. But yeah, let’s not complain TOO loudly about that.
D: I’d rather he just got more agile, but I know once that happens, he’ll just be into more complicated injury-inducing stuff. Once he masters climbing, he’s gonna want to go rock climbing or play lacrosse or go base jumping or something.
M: Oh man, I’m already dreading it. He’s a daredevil NOW, I’m terrified of what’s gonna happen when he REALLY figures out how to monkey his way around.
D: Just wait. Rollercoaster surfing into hang-gliding, known as RollerGliding or its street name: “Gloasting.” The newest teen sensation, and he’ll be leading the pack.
M: You’re giving me gray hairs just thinking about it.
D: You mean MORE gray hairs? Wokka wokka!
M: *insert eyeroll here*